Ben's Blog

The Sun and Moon

2007-08-23T17:41:00.000-04:00

Title: The Sun and Moon
Date: 23 August 2007

Face is bright, heart's delight
Eyes see grey, your's today
Dew on the grass, time's pass
Sun in your hair, color's fair
Lips of red, smile's fed
Eyes are fire, love's desire
Rain in the sky, cloud's fly
Moon on your back, beauties’ track

Green, Red, Black, and White

2007-08-12T00:28:00.001-04:00

Title: Green, Red, Black, and White
Date: 12 August 2007

Eyes peering
Feet rising, falling
Earth green and fresh

Eyes exploding
Branches tripping, cutting
River red and wide

Eyes glazing
Roads bending, dipping
Death black and near

Eyes hoping
End zooming, coming
Freedom white and beautiful

Sold your Soul

2007-07-26T11:10:00.000-04:00

Date: 26 July 2007
Title: Sold your Soul

Sold your soul for a buck online
Payment was null and void

Owner ran, heart in hand
Stabbing, laughing away from you

Talk was cheap, it pulled you in
Betrayal astounding, your head is pounding

Love once known is only fuzzy
Your only friend was just ones and zeroes

Pain, agony, desperation surge throughout
Do you turn away from the box?

Trapped, lost, you are in prison
Slave to self, addicted to fantasy

Selling your soul for a buck online
Payment will be null and void

Here

2007-07-21T23:55:00.001-04:00

Dark Poetry to match my dark mood.
Title: Here
Date: 21 July 2007

Scream at the top of your lungs.
No one can hear you here.

Run as fast as your body can.
No one can catch you here.

Hide in the deepest forests.
No one can see you here.

Do you want to rest?
Only beds of nails here.

Do you want happiness?
Only pain and anguish here.

Alone, isolated, abandoned.
That’s what you are here.

Not what you imagined?
This is your world, right here.

Who Am I?

2007-06-13T23:06:00.000-04:00

Title: Who Am I?
Date: 13 June 2007

His heart is for this city
Its people and their dreams

Broken hearts that get no pity
Young children and sad screams

My heart is sometimes broken
Reminds me who I am

I am hypocrite and liar
I see the soul I may have damned

I want to play their song
I want to save their life

Alone I am nothing
Alone I am only strife

Failures

2007-05-20T21:54:00.001-04:00

Written: 20 May 2007

A million failures to and fro
Which way to turn, which way to go?

Foot follows foot
Day fades to night
As does hope, faith, and light

Going towards tomorrow but still in today
Get caught in the blinking
Yesterday you still are thinking

Eyes cast downward
Dust grabs your breath and tongue
Voice calls out but eerily numb

Train passes just beside
Attentions start to stray
Feelings for right now, you wish would go away

Yet another decision
Looms, glares, stares on the horizon
Heart, soul, and mind long to cry on

Knee slams into concrete
Nail pierced hands grab your shoulders
Protect your face from the boulders

Soothing water refreshes
Scars, bruises, contusions
Mental and physical allusions

Refreshed and relieved
Body clean, body free
Life restored, life renewed, the way things should be

Slowly but surely
You strive towards your goal
Fears are fleeting, rest on your soul

Faintly at first
Growing ever more clear
A voice you unmistakably hear

Don't live in the now
If in fear of tomorrow

If you want to see the background for this, please view the comments.

Cuts

2007-05-17T18:59:00.000-04:00

Written: 17 May 2007

Everyone gets cut
Some people still feel
Apathy claims another victim
For some, the only way to deal
Air, steel, glass, and bone
Prime culprits try to conceal
Turn the knives outward
Only to hurt, never heal

This is a rare, all-dark poem (I don't write many of these)
I cut my thumb cutting yams the other day. Some of the cuts went through (and hurt) while some just went through a couple layers of skin and didn't hurt. I used that beginning to write a poem about emotional cuts.

Sad Day

2007-05-11T23:48:00.000-04:00

Written: 11 May 2007

It will be a sad day
A time to cry
and question why

It will be a sad day
Want for flight
and lack of sight

It will be a sad day
As we open our eyes
and slowly realize

It will be a sad day
When we see inside
our affluence and pride

I wrote this to myself (more or less) after seeing that although I say that I don't like affluence, parts of my life indicate that I am hypocritically striving to gain affluence.

As Ink

2007-05-11T23:38:00.000-04:00

Written: 11 May 2007

Forming words in my mind
With pictures, relations, and games

Hopes, dreams, papers inside frames
Fitting together: you, me, us, and all

Magic harmony of life: winter, spring, summer, and fall
Love comes together likes blocks in tetris

Can't record the progress in english or metric
Love, joy, contentment and thankfulness

Each is God's gift to bless
As ink meets paper through thought

We must claim the freedom that was bought
Ever searching to not become blind

This is just a poem, make your own interpretations
note: I call this a chain rhyming pattern

Love is a Choice

2007-04-27T07:22:00.001-04:00

Written: 27 April 2007

Stay away from anger
God is the God of now, not of then or later

God is in all creation and the people
This makes a church, not the steeple

God is in the rain, the fog, the pain
Not only the sunshine, for where is the gain

God is love is a choice
Cry out to Him who hears your voice

Rain

2007-04-25T23:03:00.002-04:00

Written: 25 April 2007

Rain, rain, how I love you rain
Luster, luster, all gone in the bluster
Dreary, dreary, good for when I'm weary

Drip, drop, the love of God does not stop
Future, past, rain lets the present last
Sun, shine, pour through the clouds divine

Easing, easing, clean air I'm breathing
Flourish, flourish, oh how you nourish
Rain, rain, I appreciate the sun again

Living By God

2007-04-20T23:03:00.000-04:00

Written: 20 April 2007

Lead yourself to death
Like heroin, coke, or meth

False lines you feed yourself
There is only one wealth

The answer for the question
Go to the Blessed One

Life on the line
Fatality if its mine

The dogs get the crumbs
Heart of God changed by moms

Lamenting II

2006-08-28T23:02:00.001-04:00

Revised: 28 August 2006

Cry

2006-08-28T23:02:00.000-04:00

Written: 28 August 2006

The pain that cuts so deep
What benefits could it reap?

Waiting for time to be cruel
The disease eating a precious jewel

Powerless am I
Nothing to do but cry

The pain that brings such loss
What bridge could it cross?

Sitting by your side
Sorry for every time I lied

Powerless am I
Nothing to do but cry

The pain that brings up memories
What comfort could it free?

Lovingly I'll hold your hand
Always, until the end

Powerless am I
Nothing to do but cry

From Poem to Roam

2006-06-04T22:56:00.000-04:00

Written: 4 June 2006

Upon trying to write a poem
My mind started to roam

I drifted from tree to cloud
From quiet to loud

I saw the moon and stars
Then walked on Mars

My mind a slate blank
A pirate made me walk the plank

I found treasure and gold
Witnessed love and grew old

Won a fight, won a war
Took flight, Took no more

Fell out of a tree
Back into reality

I Don't Know Why

2006-06-01T22:56:00.000-04:00

Written: Mid-2006

I don't know why
I don't know how

In the end I see myself alone
Always there, I can't escape
As if held by invisible tape
No comfort, no peace, none

I don't know why
I don't know how

As for God, I turn away
Instead of pray
And ask for strength
I just put myself at quite some length

I don't know why
I don't know how

I look for my friends.
Nowhere to be found
No comfort in which to abound
Nothing worthy to lend

I don't know why
I don't know how

My back I turn
"I can get by just fine"
I repeat that line
In the end It'll just be another burn

I don't know why
I don't know how

It may sound odd
but when I turn my back to God
It would be just as well for me to be hung
Or maybe quartered and strung

I don't know why
I don't know how

My thoughts are always so dark
And my outlook is always so stark
I need to mark a new day
Give it to God, and He will find a way

Looking For Pasture

2006-05-13T22:55:00.000-04:00

Written: 13 May 2006

'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.'

Blind, without a cause.
Deaf, without a care.

Our mouths are closed, our ears are dead, and our eyes are shut.
The skies cease to be, the wind stops it course.
The trees wither, the animals are conquered.
Our souls fade and our bodies crumble.

Our mouths crave for water, our bodies yearn for food, and our eyes for light.
The moon is lonely, the earth howls for love.
Death roams free, there is no escape.
Our souls mourn and our bodies cry.

Tears form in the eyes of our Creator.
The hands that formed us tremble.
Freedom to choose, freedom to lose.
Finally, comes the light.

Our lungs take in air, our ears strain, and our eyes focus.
The stars are shining, the rivers are winding.
Broken free with a shout, beauty is around.
Our souls free and our bodies renewed.

Stuck

2006-03-22T23:01:00.000-05:00

Written: 22 March 2006

I find myself stuck,
stuck on the wrong side of time
Past seems in front and future behind

All around it goes
It blurs and dulls
My emotional lulls

Cut deep in my flesh
Is the newest of wounds
Unasked for it comes, unasked for it goes

Scars build on scars
Bruise grows on bruise
Nothing new, always used

Dreaming of sleep
Sleeping in dreams
Am I awake, or really just fake?

I Want

2006-03-08T22:55:00.000-05:00

Written: 8 March 2006

I want to write this to you
I want you to know how I feel
Words don’t come all the time
But now they flow

Lord I love you
Let me sing all the time

My heart yearns for you
Show me your love

I want you to be mine
I want to be yours

Spread me out, make me go
Make me work
Make me love
Make me strive
Make me….

Where is my love?
Where is my heart?
Where is my breath?

You give me
You show me

You are
Me? I’m nothing

Only perfect in you
Imperfect outside

Sitting on the steps, I eat the dust
Sitting on the floor I eat the scraps
Sitting at your feet I am happier than words can express

Love, love, love, first you, next them, finally me

Humble me, strip me, cleanse me
Break me
Remove the world, remove the apathy
Remove the self centeredness

Anger Rising, Anger Falling

2006-03-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

Written: 7 March 2006

Run until you can't breathe
Fight until you can't see
Anger rising, anger thriving

Push until you crumble
Resist until you bend
Anger rising, anger thriving

Cry until you're dry
Hurt until you're numb
Anger rising, anger thriving

And it will all break out
And it will all explode
Anger seething, anger boiling

Slash, bite, sting, punch
Slap, gnash, kick, spit
Anger seething, anger boiling

Empty, hollow, cold, hurting
Fragile, broken, lost, blind
Anger failing, anger losing

Turning, seeking, looking, searching
Yearning, needing, craving, finding
Anger going, anger gone

Look until you see
Search until you find
Love rising, love thriving

Drink until you're satisfied
Rest until you're refreshed
Love restoring, love is growing

Arrive at your destination
See your heart at peace
God is love, God is all

Stay Away From Me

2006-03-07T22:53:00.000-05:00

Written: 7 March 2006

I will hurt you
I will scar you

Stay away from me
Stay away from me

I will make you cry
I will make you run

Stay away from me
Stay away from me

I will let you down
I will let you fall

Stay away from me
Stay away from me

I can't make you whole
I can't make you live

Magnitude

2006-02-19T22:51:00.000-05:00

Written: 19 February 2006

Am I finally realizing my magnitude is small?
I can't do this, that, or anything at all.

I see the grey clouds roll by
I can't succeed unless I try

My spirit is morose
My friends and God I need to keep close

Unlike one, God won't let me go
Although I struggle to and fro.

"Where is my savior? Where is my friend?"
I'll tell you where, at your side until the end

Finally, glad am I
To see Jesus and say, "Glorify"

My friend, my champion, my Lord
You are all I want to look toward

Let you be me, and then I'll be free
Anything I would give gladly

I want to know no other passion or desire
Unless it was you who set the fire

Let this be my prayer
In hardship or gain
Let this be my prayer

Lamenting I

2006-02-19T22:50:00.000-05:00

Written: 19 February 2006

I saw yet remained blind
I saw yet did nothing
I'm sorry if I've let you down
I'm sorry if I've hurt you

Everything is important
Why could I not see?
I hope that love can restore
How we were before

Maybe tonight, I'll just be me
And you just you
Because I miss you
I love you
You'll always have a place in my heart
I pray you don't depart

I hurt and fall
I don't want any at all
Only to wake in the morning
And see I was dreaming

Did I abandon you?
I never saw the clue
Now I see
I was really blind, indeed

This poem is only consolation
Your soul is up for restoration
Don't blow out the candle
Don't turn off the light

I can't take this darkness alone
How can I call this home?
Without you by my side, peace can't abide
The way it did when we first met

What caused the change?
Was it the range?
Did someone hurt you?
Or did people abuse you?

Questions that will have no answer
I pray that they will go away
And you come back the same as any other day

Run from the lies
Turn to the truth
It's no fun to be alone
The pain goes to the bone

God will deliver
He will strengthen those who quiver
Your faith can be absolute
Just don't give it the boot

You are my brother
No less will I accredit
If ever you need a friend
My services I'll lend

Just don't forget
When we first met

Let's Just All Implode

2005-12-14T23:01:00.000-05:00

Written: 14 December 2005

Let's just all implode.
Hey, that's a great idea.

We should stab the back
Slander and attack
Turn care to hate
Screw cleaning the slate

Let's just all implode.
Hey, that's a great idea.

Hurt your friends
Get vengeance with no ends
Shout and lie
Suppress and never cry

Let's just all implode.
Hey, that's a great idea.

Plot instead of reconcile
Saying sorry is so out of style
Turning a grain of sand
Into something grand

Let's just all implode.
Hey, that's a great idea...

Still Me

2005-11-01T22:52:00.000-05:00

Written: Late 2005

I'm still me
It's all I'll ever be
Someday you will see

I'm not perfect
I'm far from it

I'll make you hurt
I'll make you cry
Do I even try?

I can't always please
That, I can guarantee

Don't give me your faith
For it I will misplace
Except by an act of grace

Maybe we're better off friends
Or could we push to our ends?

I'll let you down
I'll break your heart
To feel love lost must really smart

For now, I'll just apologize
And hope we remain allies

C'est la vie?
I'm still me
It's all I'll ever be

12 17

2005-01-01T22:54:00.000-05:00

Written: 2005

People, interesting indeed.

Why, why deny God? Why look away? Is it that hard to imagine?

No He's not like me. I'm like Him. A poor representation, as are all humans.

Don't discredit the Evil One. He is the ruler of this world, for now.

The lies, the hate, the confusion.

The self exalting, love of money, love of chaos.

Satan, public enemy number one.

Satan, not viewed as an enemy but his philosophies have consumed western culture.

It's all about me?

What? Please.

The world needs to care, the world needs to share.

The world needs God.

God is above time, not constrained.

He offers freedom, love, and hope.

I mourn for America, for the world.

Sad days will come, much grief we will see.

The sun will dim, our eyes will fade.

Heaven and earth will pass away.

But will be reborn again.